The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so Brain, but if Jimmy cracked corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
**Just a little tidbit you should know about me especially for my new blog readers, new to this journey. One welcome, two don’t question anything written here, just rock with it. This stuff is written accidentally on purpose (see what I did there? It makes sense trust me!) **
Hi-ya!!!!! We’re back and running semi normal…well, as normal as I’ll ever get which is probably abnormal…but that’s why we like we? No?! Any who, we’re back up and to just to give you an understanding of what took me so long to normalize-ish, I thought I’d give you all a rare glimpse into my convoluted brain and try to explain how I can be so easily derailed.
Listen, it’s hard to deal with me…for even me. Yes, you read that correctly. And yes I’m fully aware that it reads a little pompous but yet in still, I meant every word and every syllable of it. It…is…hard… to…deal…with…me…for...even… me. HAHAHA! Now what does that mean? I can be soooooo… well…. sooooo ….umm …soooooo ….much. Yes, that’s it, much. Sometimes it’s hard to keep up. I’m all over the place. One day I’m so emotional and I’m fighting back tears. The next day I’m so happy that nothing can compare….
I’m single, and content.
I’m single, and unhappy.
I’m single, and don’t want kids.
I’m single and do want kids.
I make my fun wherever I am.
I never have fun ever no more.
Every day is joy.
Every day is hell.
I have THEE best friends in the world.
No one is ever there for me.
I’m so pissed.
No I’m not.
Yes, I am.
I hate you.
I love you.
I hate you/love you?
Do you see where I’m going with this??? Who is this chick??? I thought I left this level of mental instability in my 20’s? (Okaaaaaaay, early 30’s…BUT SEEE THERE, I can’t even pin point the decade correctly!?) Can you imagine trying to function juggling all of that….at the same damn time? *Sorry yes, I know it’s over used but it was too hard not to say it*
Seriously! Is this just me? There are days where I literally, okay not literally….okay yes literally…want to detach my head from my body and rinse it out and either throw it away or replace it<<not in a suicidal way just in case you’re one step away from holding an intervention, I’m good trust!
But, I AM all over the place. I don’t know what aids this either….like what could be the catalyst? Hormones? It can’t be just a chick thing. Is it too much free time to let my mind wander? Have I like, spent too much time in my head? I mean you do know there’s such thing…too much time with *ahem* yourself. Are there case studies on this? Like I’ve read about the quarter-life crisis, and you have the mid-life crisis, you also have the pre-menopausal thingy (and no smart asses that IS NOT me!) but what’s the 36 thing called? Cry baby? Crazy? 30-something and half past crazy? Hahaha Come oooonnnnn I need to know!
And oh dear Lord, please don’t get me started on the emotional aspect. Let me tell you something that I’ve never told anyone especially those who deal with me on a regular. You know the ones that walk away from our encounters shaking their head like “this chick, I’ll never understand her”. *types real slow and deliberate* I don’t understand me either. K?
Actually, it’s quite exhausting being a person this …this….well, this THIS. It’s like a ride. When you get on you look at your friend and you’re like “Ooooh! This is going to be sooooo fun” and by the first curve you playfully yell out a shout of glee maybe, but by the first drop you’re crying for your savior and by that second curve you screaming for dear life! And by the time the ride is done you will look back and curse its very existence, and probably proclaim never again. And low and behold, next summer? You will find yourself standing in line yet again. “The ride” was so bad, that it was good (at least that’s what you tell yourself a year later)
Well people, that’s me in a nutshell!
I don’t know why you folks keep fooling with me. I’m sporadic at best and even that is a light way to put it. I’m so unstable that I’m stable. I’m inconsistently consistent and randomly predictable. Yup, you got it….a real live enigma (and clearly really, really dramatic). That would be me, I would be she, and she would be we.
So what’s the draw? Why befriend me (or for your purpose, be-read me (hehe I’m clearly corny too)), it’s simple. I’m fun.
Hahahaha I mean coooome on! Someone this crazy has to be fun right!!!!!! And yeah, I know you’re like “I know fun” but trust me when I say, not my kind of fun. (at least in my head you don’t) Hey, I’m the girl that in college thought it would be fun to drink while we packed for a road trip, and convinced everyone to agree it would be fun too. All for me to drink and pass out on the way there and only to check her bag to only have one shoe, a top no bottoms, and partial PJ’s. Hahahaha okay that doesn’t sound that fun, but damn it if it wasn’t hilarious then and makes a fun story now! So BOOM!
Okay, okay, I got off topic (see that damn brain) This post isn’t to convince you of my funness (yes I made that up and you’ll love it) or to read my blog, if you’re reading this, I’ve already tricked you! POW! And shit, I’m fun, the end; it’s not to be questioned.
BUT this post IS so y’all know what I’m working with, what you’ve gotten yourself into and hell, to figure out if I’m the only one crazy out here? (Crazy needs love too) So if this is you (don’t yall all run to the door at once), let’s start a discussion of sorts of what we should do about it, call ourselves, diagnosis ourselves, and well…while we’re at it…ummm…medicate ourselves …in the liquid form….yes? It could be kind of like a club of sorts. I mean I’m one of a kind, this I know, but there’s comfort in numbers….truly.
Soooo anyone, anyone? Olly Olly Oxen Free??? Don’t be afraid? Step up and state your set so we can have healing (or toasting’s) together.
Oh this brain….convoluted shit huh? Siigggghhhh it’s just all so….complicated.
You’re welcome…
and you always talking crap about Gemini's. If you were repping that set, everyone would think it was normal.
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