Thursday, December 20, 2012

HOLIDAY SURVIVAL TIPS: STEP TWO-THE ART OF GIVING



“Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.
Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!”  -Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas



Alrighty folks, we’re in the home stretch, Christmas is near and now is the time to start talking gifts. Well, that is of course if you’re that lame person, who bought gifts last month then, never mind, but if you’re a Late Lucy like most, well this is your prime shopping week and you most likely need some help.

Now before I get into this blog, I must urge you all to implement a “No Gift” policy such as I did this Christmas.  It’s not like I won’t give a gift, but people are more likely to appreciate the handmade ornaments when they don’t expect they're getting a gift,  than expecting a big gift and get some handmade isht. Word. Up!

Hey, we can all sit here and act like Christmas is about something bigger than gifts (which it is, but never mind that religious posts aren't my thing, I’ll let y’all judgmental ones duke it out on Facebook Christmas day)  With that said, I have one tip and one tip only:

Don’t be a hero. 

Yup, I’m talking to YOU!

What does that mean?  Listen, you are not the modern day St. Nicholas.  Kids and family members don’t even know what sugar plums look like let alone have visions of them! So, it is not your job to turn their “visions” into fruition.  Not to be the Grinch that stole your Christmas, but let me give you this little nugget, you can drop $1,000 on your kids and family members and a month from now they won’t even remember it.  Trust me! So, tuck your cape away, your gift isn't going to save Christmas, there will be Christmas next year and my dear Captain what will you do then? Mortgage your house? Because that’s the direction you’re headed!

Let me be clear, the goal of gift giving is set up a level of progression.   Oh silly you, you thought it was to give and give freely. Uhhhh No!  When you give gifts, you have to be able to top each gift each year following it.  It’s an unspoken rule that no one tells you about.  And the only way you can survive a life time of giving gifts is if you ration that shit out! That’s the only way you can do this gift giving thing, IF you choose to do it.  Again, I advise you opt out. But if you stay in, you must, must, must, must temper expectations.  Buy your girlfriend some diamonds your first Christmas together or your kid every American Girl product in the store and homie, you have nowhere to go but down.  DOOOOOWWWWWN!

Let me tell you, for years, I was known as the person that blessed people with my presence. LOL Don’t you roll your eyes, my presence is special…a gift if you will,  one day I’ll bless you with it too! LOL  But It was known, no gifts from Nika and in return, you didn't have to give me a gift either.  Well sort of, this applied to everyone except my father.  Don’t get me wrong he didn't get a gift either, but I ALWAYS expect a gift from that dude.  Yes, I said it.  It’s called payback. I spend 365 days a year as his secretary, personal google, living GPS, phone programmer, cable provider, computer tech…that Negro OWES me!

But I digress.  So no one got gifts, it was expected. And then one Christmas, the spirit of giving was in my heart and I showed up with a few items, a couple of George Foreman grills for the family (I worked for Target), a sweater for my brother in law, a purse for my grandmother etc.   Man listen, it was like they saw the resurrection of Christ with their very own eyes, talk about Glory!  I could have come with glittered covered coal and gotten the same reaction! See that…tempered expectations! Trust me, there’s an art to this!

So what I’m trying to tell you is this, we all wish gift giving was easier.  But people expect you to gift them gifts they never even thought for themselves like somehow you secretly always knew what they wanted and decide to be the great Christmas Savior coming to save Christmas like it’s never been saved before.   Ummm…NO. 

And the reality is, give a bad gift on Christmas and see if you don’t hear about it for the next year! Seriously, just ask my father.   One year this man gave me a ream of paper….a REAM OF PAPER…yes I was in grad school and yes, I was writing paper after paper, but I was getting paper free from my sister’s job! Wouldn't say , I don’t know, CASH have been a better gift than paper?  Paper that I’m still using 8 years later by the way?!?!  I can’t even create reasons to use it! And lord I won’t go into the time him and his wife bought me this sweater with the matching gloves…JESUS! Nope…I won’t do that, I’m too good of a person to go there. (Hit me on the side for that story hehehe) So check this out, my father was on to something, nooo, no, no , no not the sweater that almost got him excommunicated but the ream of paper was an act of a pure genius.  After two years of just ridiculously bad gifts, I never really had any gift expectations of him again.  That needs to be you! <<<See there's a lesson buried in here somewhere, trust me!

Anywho, that wasn't really what I was trying to tell you. HAHAHA! What I’m trying to say is give wisely, give deliberately and most importantly give to be able to give tomorrow (that last one makes sense really).  

Good luck and God speed!

Now inbox me for my address so you simps can send me a gift too!

Tis the season y’all…Tis the season….

No comments:

Post a Comment