A VERY NIKA THANKSGIVING

“Nobody loves me, nobody cares,

Nobody picks me peaches and pears.
Nobody offers me candy and Cokes,
Nobody listens and laughs at me jokes.
Nobody helps when I get into a fight,
Nobody does all my homework at night.
Nobody misses me,
Nobody cries,
Nobody thinks I'm a wonderful guy.
So, if you ask me who's my best friend, in a whiz,
I'll stand up and tell you NOBODY is!
But yesterday night I got quite a scare
I woke up and Nobody just WASN'T there!
I called out and reached for Nobody's hand,
In the darkness where Nobody usually stands,
Then I poked through the house, in each cranny and nook,
But I found SOMEBODY each place that I looked.
I searched till I'm tired, and now with the dawn,
There's no doubt about it-
NOBODY'S GONE!!” ― Shel Silverstein

***Oh my, like don’t you just loooooooooove Shel Silverstein!!!! ***

All of last week I kept trying to remind myself to write a Thanksgiving post and in typical Thanksgiving fashion, I decided the post should be about all the things I was thankful for.  But to be honest and completely transparent (as if I wasn’t going to be) I was having a hard time coming up with a list, hence the delay in the post.   

Don’t get me wrong, yes I’m grateful for the usual suspects: To be breathing-because who wants to be dead? To have my parents: because where would I be without them blah blah blah, those are given, and I thank God for them every day (sorry you’re not privy to my prayers).  However, let’s be honest those don’t reeeeaaally make for good reading. So In my effort to reach past my lust for air, and I was coming up short...like waaaay short.  I just couldn't think of more things to be thankful for…period.

Now, if I divulge more, I must tell you that I’m having a really, really, really rough month like incredibly tough and because of that I've been very mopey and just blaaaaah.  Basically, I've been hosting one helluva pity party all by my lonesome!  With that said, whilst tossing glitter at my soiree of one, it was really bothering me that I couldn't come up with one thing to be thankful for… Crazy right???  As crazy and self-consumed as that sounds (yes I know it’s waaaay me, me, me), I was supes intrigued by it, I mean word Nik? Nothing? It made me WANT to come up with a list like I NEEDED to come up with a list. 

So one morning afternoon, while lying in the bed sitting at the table with my bottle glass of wine... Hell, you know the deal. We’re grown here and well…when in doubt, drink it out. *hi-fives*   But I digress, as I was saying while sitting at the table with my wine about 1/4 in *ahem*…1/2 in….*ahem*…oh hell 3/4 in…it came to me! A list of things I’m thankful for:

Nik’s Thankful Thanksgiving of 2012:

Living a scabie free life:

Why not starts this list off with a bang?! Y’all know I’m a freelancer right? And as a freelancer one of the things I pride myself is being a woman of many trades, yes *nods head in excitement* much like an umm….renaissance woman! Let me explain, as a freelancer not only are you well versed in your skill set because you're constantly hustling for a job but most freelancers lack insurance. So you need to be a Homeopathologist, a M.D., a Psychiatrist, and a Nurse.  You have to be creative about your diagnosis, ingenious about your treatments, and sparing with your doctor’s appointments. So with that said, my faaaaavorite website is webMD.com.  Yes, yes, yes I know it’s my gift and my curse BUT sometimes it’s helped me.  NOOOOOO, not the time when I thought I had and diagnosed myself with a brain tumor but that time I had the sinus infection I was dead on!!!!  Hey, you win some you lose some...

Yo the other day, I was perusing the site trying to find a symptom that matched my current problem *side eye*. And I ran across scabies.  Dear God!  Do…you…know…what…scabies…are? Like have you ever….googled it?  Do it right now.  I’ll wait……..

What THEE entire fuck right????? It’s like having your own personal parasite or 10! Oh and lord don’t let it be of the crusty species….*looks to the heavens* I mean it's called "The seven-year itch" for Christ's sake!!! Today, tomorrow, and for any day to come, I am grateful for living a scabie free life.  The End!

Bacon:

I mean need I write about this?  When God made the heavens, earth, Adam and Eve…we were blessed with bacon! It’s in the hidden chapters trust me (or not) on this.  I mean yeah yeah yeah, there’s something in there about casting a demon or two into the swine….never mind that.  It’s of God, this I know, you know why?? Because happiness lives there. Period, the end, don’t even question it.  I mean why would something so good...be like….not good?! (Don’t answer that)

Footies on sale at target: 

Yo this seems like a simple thing. But it is not. Imagine this: 

*me

*walking around NYC

*already feeling down and rejected

*low and lonely

*cast out…an outcast if you will

You get the point…

*an hour into my excursion the elastic gives out on my only pair of footies left with no hole in the heel (that shit’s real!)

*it doesn't just give out, it creeps to the most sensitive part of my foot… the arch

*no matter how I try, the tricks I pull, no safety pin is enough, I cannot get the footie to stay…

*I try and I try

*I try and I try

*my foot is starting to chafe and I want to cry (you know i never miss a good rhyme)

*walk into target and glory be to God! A footie sale….

I.Am.Thankful.

My local winery:

Listen….okay…hey…sooooo….yeah….ummmmm….this speaks for itself right???

Bacon:

Swine so fine, its good fo my mind.  Thank you sweet baby Jesus!

Heat:

So I live in NYC, and no one does project, Sahara desert, burn you to a crisp, dehydrating to your soul, kill your plants and your sinuses, dry your eye sockets, wilt your lettuce, seal your containers, steam your clothes, evaporate your water- heat like an NYC apartment building.  How-some-ever, the other day it was like 30 degrees and I decided that maaaaybe I should be grateful for it.  I mean, I’m sure there’s someone out in the cold that would want to suck the luster out of their skin and perspire through their night clothes, bed sheets, and fresh blowout…..I’ve just never encountered them. So yeah, I"m thankful....I guess. 

Bacon:

The other white meat…made so sweet. Hallelu!

Hair to actually wash:

I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate like hate, hate, hate to wash my own hair.  I just recently cut it off for hopes that I will want to do it more and more often. I mean less hair has to mean less pain? No?  Yet as much as I hate it, I mean I could have alopecia rigggggght?  And that would just totally suck.  So I maybe I should hate it less, and thank it more.  Thank you hair for being on my head.

Ummm……wheeeewww….this is harder than I thought…..

Soooo Bacon? No? Not again? 

See what I mean??????   *Nika shrug….makes mental note to get more wine* Sigggghhhh ……

Well, at least I don’t have scabies….